i have a santa kink. i want you to dress up in a sexy santa suit and leave me expensive presents under the tree when im sleeping. leave afterwards
I’m not sexist but I can guarantee that this was written by a women…
"im not sexist im just going to assume this was written by a woman because it has something to do with wanting expensive gifts" moron
do you ever cry because you’ve somehow managed to gain a truly fucking amazing person as your friend? and just think about how fucking blessed you are for their existence and how in some previous life you must have done something fucking amazing to deserve them in this life? DO YOU?
When you open an exam paper and can’t even answer the first question
I’ve developed this headcanon where Phineas and Ferb go back to school and the teacher asks who would like to share what they did over the summer. Phineas is almost falling out of his seat, holding his arm up so high, and finally the teacher says, “Phineas, the entire Tri-State area knows what you’ve been up to this summer.”
Oh no guys. I scrolled past a support gay marriage post and didn’t reblog it. Oh god what is happening to me… OH GOD… OH GOD IT SAID IF I KEPT SCROLLING I WAS ON THE HOMOPHOBIC SIDE. I’M CHANGING….. I THINK… I THINK THAT maRriage ShouLd Be Between…. no no no… a MaN…NOOO… AND A WOMAN. NO WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME OH FUCK.
Romeo and Juliet is not a love story it’s a cautionary tale about how everything would be better if you would just chill the fuck out
‘Everything would be better if you would just chill the fuck out’ - every play ever written by Shakespeare
“Yo, Hamlet. Chill the fuck out about your dad.”
“Yo, King Lear. Chill the fuck out about your daughters.”
“Yo, Othello. Chill the fuck out about your wife.”
New Sherlock trailer (X)
THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT
95 percent of self esteem issues are caused by the iphones front camera
okay so i was watching the suite life of zack and cody episode where they make a commercial and i decided to call the Tipton’s number
and it’s a fucking sex chatline.
i don’t believe you, I’m going to call it
… died of laugter because my mom is right next to me
when your family asks if you have a boyfriend
it’s amazing how only a few words can make your day instantly better
so this is how records are made
thats a pizza
gilmore girls re-watch → 1x04 ‘the deer-hunters’ [3/3]