Chris Kendall everybody
Currently Reading: TMI: City of Ashes, Sherlock Holmes Vol. 1, The Adv. of Huckleberry Finn
Sidebar Credit: thelbdiaries
I AM FUCKING SCREAMING BECAUSE THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE BEST THING EVER
You have your mother’s cheek bones
godDAMMIT NOW WE’RE SHIPPING CUTLERY
TUMBLR YOU NEED TO S T O P
I hope this post comes back to me when it has a short story attached.
The Utensils were a happy family, just like any other. Fork was a loving, caring father, who worked at a bank, and Spoon was his beautiful wife, who owned a small business that allowed her to spend a lot of time with their son, Spork. Every day, when Fork came home from work, he gently clinked against the rim of Spoon’s face and asked how her day had been. She would go on and on about how her Aunt Bowl was letting anyone fill her up these days, and telling him he would never guess who they got a phone call from today (it was his brother, Knife), and he would just lean back against the china cabinet, staring at his wife’s beautiful reflective surface, and know everything was right in the world.
One day, however, everything was suddenly not right in the world at all.
Fork woke up in the silverware drawer and instantly knew something was wrong. He looked over to where Spoon normally slept, confused when he saw nothing but empty space. Or, at least, he thought it was empty. It took him a minute to see the small note left there. Oh no. God, no, he thought.
He picked up the note with shaking prongs, and read amid tears:
I’m sorry to leave you like this, but I just couldn’t face seeing you. It’s too painful. I’m not strong enough to tell you this to your face, and I know that makes me a coward. I know that makes me a horrible utensil. But I can’t do this anymore.
Do you remember Cow’s party the other night? The night she was so drunk she swore she jumped over the moon? Well, I met someone that night. His name is Dish. And we’re running away together.
Please, don’t try and find us. Dish makes me happy. He doesn’t spend all day staring at me, looking at himself in my reflection.
Fork collapsed to the ground, wishing he could tell Spoon that the reason he loved staring at her reflective surface so much, was because of the way her surface magnified everything around her, making it seem so much greater and more beautiful than people could see themselves as normally. Her personality did the same thing. It’s what he loved most about her. And what he would miss most of all.
I CAN’T EVEN WITH THIS FUCKING SITE.
sweet jesus i’m crying over cutlery
things like this make me happy i have a tumblr
DUCK UPDATE: IT HAS IMPRINTED AND THINKS THIS BOY IS IT’S MOMMY. OMG
how doES HE DO THAT
How to pronounce the name of the characters from Les Misérables by the tumblr blogger barricade-on-a-cloud.
In order :
Ephrasie (Cosette’s real name)
wait omg this is amazing
wait what does this symbol stand for :$
^what the fuck has been going on in your childhood
SWEET SKIES ABOVE
If I saw this while I was walking down the street I think I would legitimately start screaming and weeping in joy.
Oh, it’s even smeared.
/Suddenly feels 4 years old all over again.
I don’t get it. What is that meant to BE?
IT’S THE GODDAMN SIMBA WHERE DID YOUR PARENTS GO WRONG
The King of Videobombs.
choose your favourite reaction
she just had to get pregnant and ruin everyones lives
i get really uncomfortable when people don’t maximize their browser window
NBC!Hannibal + Food
question to the hannibal fandom: are we allowed to drool over these meals or is that frowned upon
You can always do what I do. Smile and go “damn that looks good” theni n oyur mind start screaming “EVERYTHING IS PEOPLE! EVERYTHING!!”
tbch i think id still eat it